If I tried to do my eyes like that, it would just look like I slept in my makeup. Which is something I do all too often.

I can’t wait to see Fleetwood Mac in April, and I really need to remember to buy my ticket before the cheap seats sell out. I just wish Christine McVie would be there because I really need them to play “Hold Me,” since that’s where my love affair began as a preschooler. (It came out the year I was born.) Did you know she wrote that song about Dennis Wilson from the Beach Boys? Apparently they had a lengthy, tumultuous relationship.

Currently, I am trying to arrange an interview with Stevie for the magazine, since she’s somewhat of a gay icon, but I know I will just end up sounding like Chris Farley when he interviewed Paul McCartney on an SNL skit - just like the way I sounded when I interviewed Janis Ian in September.

I’m trying to think of someone who has been more “bros before hoes” than George Harrison.

Seriously, can you think of anyone?

atomss:

My cousin had his first day of college today. 20+ years of military service through three wars and now he is trying to get a business and IT degree. He said he was really uncomfortable about being so much older than everyone and almost considered leaving. It bums me out that he even considered that.

So if you have a much older person in your classes: be nice to them. You don’t know what they’ve had to go through to get there.

I used to get so mad at one of my American Lit professors at Miami for treating the one non-traditional student in the class like crap.

Sure, the student didn’t quite understand a lot of the themes or that our professor would have rather just listened to himself talk than have her interject every 5 minutes with an off the wall comment and a giggle.

But she paid for the class unlike most, who had their parents foot the bill. She deserved the respect that he gave every other student but her.

I was so mad at him that, like a coward, I stopped attending his class and I ended up getting a C. Maybe it was a D?

Yeah, I really showed him.

awpeeps:

meganmasek:

I like to sing this song to myself whenever I take a Midol

I like to sing the chorus to “Freedom! ‘90” when I take my bra off. Yeah, yeah.

When I take my bra off, I yell, “Release the hounds!”

This.

How does one do that exactly?

Well…

I was going through the bank drive-thru, and as I was trying to deposit my newly acquired, much appreciated and much needed Christmas money, I fumbled and dropped the canister on the ground. It then rolled into the next lane and started to make its way down the slight hill.

I started to freak out - I can’t afford to lose that money! But I couldn’t open my door to reach it because there wasn’t room due to the narrow lanes.

So I moved my car up, while hoping the canister would stop rolling and no cars would drive through that lane. I opened my door, but apparently in my haste, I forgot to put my car in park.

Uh oh.

My little gray civic started to take off on its own, and my body was halfway out with the door wide open. I floundered to hit the brake as I simultaneously tried to stop the car with my left foot, Fred Flintstone style.

I saw that the brick wall that separates the lanes was impending and my door was still open and I couldn’t seem to get my left leg back in. I completely panicked and was screaming like a crazy person.

I finally hit the brake as I closed my door enough so that I didn’t pull a Tommy Boy and lose the door.

I still can’t believe I scratched it only slightly.

It happened in a flash, but I’m thankful I mostly kept my wits about me. (Aside from trying to drag my foot on the ground to stop a moving car.)

Although I did hurt my hip, I consider myself to be incredibly lucky. I could have run myself over, my car could have driven itself into traffic - hurting someone before crashing and costing far more to repair than that was in the getaway canister. I can’t stop thinking about the awful possibilities, even though it makes my heart rate increase.

My friend Brett laughed and said he wanted to see the security film, which gives me all sorts of anxiety. What if my bank submits the footage to some show where Tom Bergeron provides the goofy commentary? That would be horrifying.

I wasn’t even sure I was going to tell anyone, but I texted a few friends and here I am telling the whole Internet.

My best friend Elena told me not to be embarrassed and said, “Think of it as a success. Fate had you scheduled to lose your legs today and you said, ‘Fuck you, fate. I got this.’”

And before you ask: yes, I was able to recoup my money.

My hometown was voted the 5th most friendly town in America by Forbes.

“We ranked the towns based on four data points: percentage of owner-occupied homes (studies have shown a direct correlation between homeownership and neighborhood stability); the crime rate; charitable giving; and the percentage of college graduates (research has found that college-educated folks typically display more civic engagement, with higher rates of voting and volunteering).”

Interesting…

I’ve been feeling a little melancholy this week, at the point of sneers or tears almost constantly. I can’t stop looking at this picture, because it’s the only thing that has given me a moment of calm.

Oh how I wish I were on that ship right now, chasing that beautiful moon.

dollsofthe1960s:

The suit is perfection.

I had those exact pants in the second grade.

I was not nearly as cool.

taylorthewall:

forebodingburger:

this warms the cockles of my heart

“We had been given a great and terrible power.”

Tracie, I know you aren’t a student but a faculty member at NYU, but did you somehow get on the list and reply with the Nic Cage photo? I feel like it HAD to be you.